Summer Fun: Exclusive Art Collection Edition

A Richard Serra in its natural habitat. Though massive and slow moving, this particular Richard Serra is shy, making the photograph a rare one.

See if you can follow this mad lib, courtesy of Wacky Web Tales...

Every summer, people head to Lake Stone Glen near PotomacmotherfuckingMD. There are so many things to do at the lake. Lots of people snorkel, hoping to catch a glimpse of the beautiful Richard Serras that live in the lake.

On Saturdays, people have swimming relay races. Each team has lots of Abstract Expressionist members. Swimmers carry minor works by major artists that are passed from one team member to the next. The winning team is awarded a small room of De Koonings and a Robert Ryman and a Agnes Martin, hanging opposite each other. Lots of people [JANET'S NOTE: NOT LOTS OF PEOPLE, TWO OTHERS TO BE EXACT] come to watch the faces. They cheer on teams by shouting, "Make your collection more accessible to the public!"

After the races, people paddle their Robert Rauschenberg around the lake. Then everyone comes back to shore for a picnic of Jackson Pollock sandwiches and Ellsworth Kelly sundaes. Someone usually plays the Christopher Wool while people eat.

People are sad when the summer ends. But everyone looks forward to the next summer at Lake Stone Glen when they can snorkel above the awesome Calders, swim for prizes of Matisses and Frank Stellas, and paddle their Jasper Johns.

Another photograph of the rare Richard Serra, this time from its interior.

Cake and Beer part...3

I forgot in the last post to pair a beer with Jack Mahoney cake. I doubt we had a lot of beer at Jack's 21st in fall 2006 when I created this cake, so I think it doesn't really matter which beer you choose. As long as you start drinking it at 10 in the morning.

Jack Mahoney Cake

A fall favorite I invented for our dear Jack Mahoney. Because anything less crunchy just wouldn't be right.

Cake Ingredients
2 cups brown sugar
4 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
1 1/2 cups veggie oil
2 cups flour
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp baking powder
2 cups grated carrots
1 1/2 cups chopped apple
1 cup chopped almonds or walnuts

Cake Directions
1. Combine sugar, eggs, vanilla and oil
2. Stir in dry ingredients
3. Add carrots, apples, and nuts
4. Pour batter into greased 9x13 or two round cake pans
5. Bake in 325 oven for 55-65 minutes

Frosting Ingredients
2 packages cream cheese, softened
1 Tbsp. milk
2 tsp. vanilla
about 1 lb confectioners' sugar (I have this written down but I can't really imagine it takes this much)

Frosting Instructions
1. Blend first three ingredients thoroughly
2. Gradually beat in sugar until frosting is smooth and as sweet as you want it.
3. Frost your cake when it's cool, add candles, and sing away.

Maya's Birthday Cake

And now for another installment of the Baby's Haus virtual cookbook.  Here's the recipe for Maya's Birthday Cake, a plain old chocolate cake with delicious buttercream frosting.  I love buttercream.  Originally debuting for Cinco de Maya, this cake reprised its role for Maya's actual birthday too.  Maya's Birthday Cake is best paired with beer (duh).  Though I think we only had some wheaty sort of beer at the time, I imagine something dark with it, stout perhaps?

Cake Ingredients:

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

2 cups sugar

3/4 cups cocoa powder

2 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. salt

1 cup buttermilk, shaken

1/2 cup vegetable oil

2 extra large eggs 

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1 cup freshly brewed hot coffee

Cake directions:

1.  Preheat oven to 350°, butter and flour 2 (8-inch) cake pans and line the bottom with parchment paper.

2.  Sift the dry ingredients together in a bowl.  Combine buttermilk, oil, eggs, and vanilla in another bowl.  Slowly add the wet ingredients to the dry.  Finally add the coffee and just mix to combine.

3.  Pour the batter into the prepared pans and bake 35-40 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean and the cake is "springy."  Cool in the pan for 30 minutes, and then turn them on to a cooling rack to cool completely. 

4.  Place one layer, flat side up, on a flat plate.  Spread the top with frosting, using a knife or rubber spatula.  Put the second layer, rounded side up, on top and spread the frosting evenly on the top and sides of cake.

Buttercream frosting ingredients:

6 oz. semisweet chocolate (Ghirardelli chocolate chips are delicious and inexpensive!)

1/2 lb. (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature

1 extra-large egg yolk, room temperature

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1 1/4 cups powdered sugar

1 tbsp. instant coffee powder 

Buttercream frosting directions:

1.  Melt the chocolate.  You might use a double boiler, if you're really on top of things.  Or, if you're like me, you could stick the chocolate into the microwave for, oh, 30 seconds, a minute, and then stir until completely melted.  Set aside until cooled to room temperature.

2.  Using an electric mixer of sorts, beat the butter until light and fluffy (3 minutes).  Add the egg yolk and vanilla and beat for another couple minutes.  Gradually add the powdered sugar.  Dissolve the coffee powder in 2 tbsp. warm water and add.  Add the chocolate last and mix just until blended.  Spread immediately on cooled cake.

Oh, Thank Heaven?

Throughout the last four years, y'all may have wondered why it is that I love 7-11 so much. Well, it has been brought to my attention that there are 245 stores in the Dallas area. It would appear that my 7-11 love is simply the result of exposure/saturation.

Regardless, they've got me hooked. Incidentally, the above print ad is how the 7-11 execs plan to hook women in Australia.

Love,

Janet

Baby's Haus Challah

I think part of the genesis for Baby's Haus the blog was that I was too lazy to actually put together some kind of crafty, handmade cookbook for people with a lot of our favorite Baby's Haus recipes. I will add some of the obvious recipes here so that we'll all have access to them in case anyone is dying to make Jack Mahoney Cake or vegetarian chili and can't reach me. I may even post the recipe for Vegan Mac. Other people should join in...especially you Katie, my one and only true Alpha Chef.

Baby's Haus Challah (Makes 3 loaves so you have an extra to share with the nice neighbors the day after a dance party)

Ingredients:

7 cups flour (4 cups unbleached + 3 cups wheat is a good combo)
1 T salt
1/2 cup sugar or honey
2 pkg yeast
1/2 oil
4 eggs
2 cups raisins
water

1. stir yeast into 1/3 cup warm water, let sit several minutes
2. in a large bowl mix oil, sugar, and salt
3. add 1 cup boiling water and stirr until dissolved
4. add 1/2 cup cold water (mixture in bowl should be roughly yeast mixture temp).
5. add yeast to large bowl.
6. add eggs to large bowl reserving 1 Tbsp for later
7. add raisins
8. add flour one cup at a time mixing after each cup
9. knead for 5 minutes adding more flour if needed.
10. cover bowl with towel and put in warm place (eg oven heated to 100 or so and turned off) until dough doubles (1 hour).
11. knead 1-2 minutes
12. divide dough in thirds
13. divide each ball in thirds again and roll into long strips to braid.
14. braid loaves and place on oiled cookie sheet.
15. put sheet in warm place for about 45 minutes to rise again
16. preheat oven to 350
17. brush tops of loaves with reserved egg (add a little bit of water to egg if needed)
18. bake for about 30 minutes until the tops are golden brown.
19. cool (best to remove from pan) and enjoy your delicious challah



To be honest, this recipe is compiled from a couple of online sources and the Los Bagels cookbook, but tested to perfection by me

cave trollin'

this blog is a fantastic idea, and i know, because i routinely have fantastic ideas. most every day!

if you've ever lived in this house you know that part of what makes it great are those cathartic togetherness moments that smooth over and soothe any aching feelings you might have gotten from the stress of living with 6-58 people at any given time. for me, those were the big living room/basement singalongs.

i know we've all scattered around the country/globe/district, but let it be known that one song i play tonight (i have a show, 7:30pm at ebeneezer's tonight) will be dedicated to said times.

what can i say... free slurpee day has made me all sugary and runny on the inside.